Teen/Child Suicide

SUICIDE IN TEENAGERS: WHAT CAN PARENTS DO?

The second leading cause of death in teenagers is suicide. The information I’m about to share is a summary from the American Academy of Pediatrics Healthy Children website, and I encourage you to read more at healthychildren.org. Enter “suicide” in the Search Box.

THIS IS A COMMON PROBLEM

Parents don’t want to think their child could be considering suicide, but the numbers are scary. Depression, anxiety, ADHD, and illegal drugs and alcohol are common issues that teens deal with every day. All of these can be precursors to suicidal thoughts or even attempts. 30% of teenage girls and 14% of teenage boys have thoughts of hurting themselves, and 40% of this group attempted suicide. Suicide risks are especially high in black teenagers and teens who identify themselves as LGBTQ.

WHAT TO LOOK FOR

Sadly, nearly 50% of parents did not know their child was even considering suicide. It’s important to be observant and listen to your child. You may notice they are sleeping more or avoiding things they used to be interested in. They may be giving up on solving problems or making statements that life isn’t worth it. Giving away prized possessions is a concern. Their grades may be falling. Self-harm and illegal drugs/alcohol use are behaviors that should alert you to deeper problems and the risk of suicide.

IT’S OK TO TALK ABOUT IT

There is a concern that talking about suicide will only make the risk greater. That is not true. Letting your child know you are concerned about his or her behavior and that you want to help them deal with their feelings can open doors to get them the help they need. A lot of resources are available. If the concern is urgent, call 911 or take your child to the Emergency Room for care. If you are worried, call 988, a 24-hour hotline, and ask for help. Make an appointment as soon as possible to see your child’s pediatrician for advice. Together with their doctor and you, their parents, they can seek a pathway to deal with their dangerous thoughts and feelings. That may involve counseling or medication, or if the danger is imminent, even hospitalization to help them off the edge of the cliff and avoid losing their life. If your child tells you about a friend who has talked about suicide, tell your child about the resources available for their friend to get help, and consider talking to the parents about your concerns and those same resources.

MAKE YOUR HOME SAFE

If your child is expressing some of these thoughts or behaviors, make your house as safe as possible. Guns should be moved to another home or locked safely so your child doesn’t have any access. Any dangerous drugs, narcotics, sedatives, or sleeping pills, even Tylenol or aspirin, should be in a locked container without them having access. Alcohol, poisons, and household cleaners are also dangerous and should be locked away from your child. Knives, razors, and ropes can be equally dangerous and should be inaccessible as well.

HOW TO START THE CONVERSATION

So, how do you initiate this discussion with your child? First, some “Don’ts”. Don’t downplay their talk about life not being worthwhile.

Don’t say :

          “That’s silly, of course you’re not going to hurt yourself.”           

          “I don’t believe what I’m hearing.”

They need to hear that you believe them and are concerned about how sad they are.

Say instead:

          “I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. Can you share a bit more?”

          “You must be really, really hurting inside to consider ending your

          your life.”

Then truly be open to listening and encouraging them to get help. This can be a life-threatening problem. It’s important to be fully focused on your child’s needs and get them the help that is needed.

HEALTHY HABITS

Be aware of social media.

          -It’s a source of connection but can also be a source of bullying and        negative talk from “friends.” If so, encourage them to stay off those sites.

          -Encourage good sleep habits and exercise.                      

          -Taking walks with your child allows you time to chat and allows your child to get the benefits of exercise and your company.

This is a difficult topic to bring up with your teen. But it is a significant issue, and you can’t afford to ignore it. Remember, these resources for help: your child’s pediatrician, 988 call line, the local mental health clinics, the Grayson County Health Department, and if needed, the Emergency Room.

Joe M Lee MD, FAAP, Medical Director, Grayson County Health Dept.